Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sammy Sosa; Former Black Slugger, Italian Wine Lover, Idiot

Newly white Sammy Sosa recently sat down with the Italian Cellar for a brief chat about his life since retiring from the Major Leagues.

The Italian Cellar: Sammy, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.

Sammy Sosa: It’s a pleasure to be white, I mean here.

TIC: Since retiring have you been watching a lot of baseball?

SS: Not too much; I’ve been busy with several projects.

TIC: Such as?

SS: My new candy bar; it’s made with white chocolate, nougat, and blanched almonds. I’m also writing a biography about another baseball great; Whitey Ford.

TIC: Sounds fascinating.

SS: Well it’s not all work for Sammy. I still find time to take strolls on the white sand beaches of my native Dominican Republic; I collect sand dollars and starfish and bleach them out. I've also taken up surfing; we have great whitecaps here.

TIC: We also hear you’re quite the wine aficionado.

SS: Oh yes; especially Italian whites. I love Verdicchio; it's so seafood friendly. I had a Sartarelli with some grilled whitefish last night; it was terrific. I also recently paired a Pio Cesare Cortese di Gavi with some linguni and white clam sauce; Delicious.

TIC: What happened to your face?

SS: No comprendo.

TIC: Sammy, thanks for your time.

SS: It was great speaking with you.

1 comment:

hrhacissej said...

Maybe the steroids messed with his pigmentation...