Recently, the Italian Cellar had an opportunity to discuss proper wine storage techniques with toppled Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, who has been on the run since August when an uprising against him forced him from power. "I had to flee in a hurry," the bedraggled former dictator said. "I had to leave behind most of my pornography, my Condelezza Rice photo album, and most of my cellar. Unfortunately, most of the wines I took with me were Barolo's and Barbaresco's; varietals that need long-term aging. I brought very little ready to drink wine," he said sadly. To avoid capture, it has been reported that Gaddafi is traveling in a convoy and using only a tent as shelter. "Not ideal conditions for the handling and storage of wine," he said. "Light, humidity, and temperature can have a profound effect on them. The god damn sun is relentless here," he exclaimed. "I fear it's adversely reacting with the wines phenolic compounds and creating potential wines faults." Gaddafi reminded us that wine will prematurely develop if stored in an environment that has large temperature variations; particularly if they occur frequently. "Wine should never be stored where the temperature is too warm or too cold," he said. "Moderate humidity levels between 55 and 75 percent should also be maintained." When asked how he maintains proper temperature and humidity for his beloved wines given his current domestic arrangements, Gaddafi laughed. "I'm reminded of that old Sam Kinison bit........YOU LIVE IN A FU**ING DESERT!!! Boy, I loved that guy," said Gaddafi. Sensing the National Transitional Council forces were closing in, the Colonel apologized for cutting our chat short. "I must be going. Ah, the life of a deposed dictator," he shrugged.
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